Finally Outz....

Finally!! The time has come.... My Last Day of Work!!

I am surprised to realise it's easier to adapt to the old routine of getting back to work. Waking up in the wee hours even before the sun, and getting ready for work. Then rushing back from work to gather back all the logistics, hurry past dinner then settle home for the day.

Now that my contract has ended, I realised it's another change to adapt again, back to home making, spending time with kids, and more importantly perhaps to consider what's next again!

LOST would be the first word or i'd say, question? What? How? When? What should I do next? How could I go about spending my next weeks or months? When would be my next job opportunity?

I am really worried beyond worried, if I would be stuck for months with no job, if there's no further calls for interviews, then how? I guess now it's the test HE is putting me through, test of our faith in HIM.

Back to my packup. I don't know if it's same for everyone that's gone through the stage or was it me. However, honestly, since I was back a month n a half ago, I'd been having this strange feeling that I don't belong anymore. No busy work discussions, fellow colleagues are just brushing past my desk moving on to the next desk bustling with discussions. Gosh! I feel like an antique!! Lastly, was it my mind playing tricks? Are some of the folks a little drifting off to a distance, embarrassed if they'd somehow show that they are feeling sorry for me losing my job? Or is it my ego playing tricks? Or worse, would I be judged as not performing thus finally losing my job? Complicated and confused, I guess I'd just focus on packing up, sending my farewell messages, and walking out from my desk, bidding some neighbours one last good bye.

No matter what, GOD please at least let me walk out in your grace and teach me how to be positive to what you've given me.

I hate to admit it, I miss working already.